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  “That’s the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard.”

  “It’s true, though,” I said. “If I try to cram too much info into my head, stuff starts to fall out.”

  “I just don’t get it.” She shook her head.

  I shrugged, not knowing what else to say. “So, what are you doing this weekend?” I asked to change the subject.

  “Studying. Why?”

  Big surprise. “I wanted to see if you wanted to go to a movie with Cady, Tristan, and me.” I already considered Cadence Nicholls and Tristan Emerson my best friends, though to be honest, I spent more time with Tanis.

  “Don’t you work?” she asked.

  “Yeah, this afternoon, but tonight’s ‘friend date’ night. Do you want to go or not?”

  She hesitated. “I don’t know…”

  “Oh, come on, you can take a few hours away from studying.”

  “Are you sure Cady and Tristan won’t mind?” she asked.

  “No, they won’t care. If they do, too bad!”

  “All right, then,” she agreed as she pulled into the school parking lot and parked the car.

  “Great! See you at lunch!” I vaulted out of the car, being sure to grab my bag, and tore off for class.

  My day began with chemistry class, which went by quickly. After that, I had World Religions. I half loved it, and I half dreaded it. My teacher, Mr. Villar, was awesome, and the class kept me entertained. The only downside already sat in his seat beside mine when I arrived—Logan Conner. He shared all of my classes, but always seemed more obnoxious and outspoken during World Religions. Everything about Logan Conner irritated me. He acted so full of himself, it sickened me. I had never met anyone so annoying.

  His name always reminded me of a soap opera star’s, or a male model’s. He could be either. I took in his short, wavy black hair, his muscular arms, and his sun-bronzed skin. His eyes were the most vibrant shade of green, almost as though someone had stuck two emeralds into his head. At the moment, opaque aviator sunglasses hid those glorious eyes. He wore his usual dark clothing that hinted at designer origins.

  I shook my head to clear it. Why was I staring at him? I supposed for all his faults, Logan was extremely gorgeous. Actually, gorgeous didn’t even begin to describe him, I decided. More like smoldering.

  “You’re not supposed to wear sunglasses in class,” I reminded him as I dropped my bag on my desk.

  Logan pulled his aviators down the bridge of his nose so he could peer at me from above the rims. “Well, if it isn’t Raena,” he murmured in a heavenly voice. I had long ago decided if there were such things as angels, they would look and sound like Logan. However, I didn’t think they would act like him.

  “It’s Rae,” I told him. “No one calls me Raena. I told you not to call me that.”

  He leaned closer. “And you can call me the guy you’ve been waiting for.”

  I rolled my eyes at him, but didn’t answer as Mr. Villar came in and called the class to order. “Can anyone tell me something about Zoroastrianism?” he asked.

  Tristan, sitting on the other side of me, raised his hand. When Mr. Villar pointed at him, he answered, “They worshiped a creator called Ahura Mazda.”

  “Hey, I’m down with Zoroastrianism—I could worship my car!” Logan cut in with a laugh.

  “Ahura Mazda is not the same as your car,” I shot back, rolling my eyes.

  “Who do you think they named the car after?” he asked sarcastically.

  “This is just one more example of your intolerance of other cultures,” I told him.

  “Tell me, how am I intolerant? I’m just kidding around. I said their god sounds like the name of my car. Wow, Raena, calm down. Hey, maybe the guy should be called Acura Mazda—then he’d be named after two cars!” He burst out laughing, and most of the class followed suit.

  “You shouldn’t make fun of others’ religions,” I shouted over the laughter. “How would you feel if someone made fun of your beliefs?”

  He leaned close to me. “And what do you believe?” he asked quietly.

  I couldn’t hear him well over the noise our classmates were making. Now they’d started to talk about cars. “I—I’m not sure anymore,” I admitted.

  “Maybe you should figure it out before you start accusing others of intolerance.”

  I stared at him, but Mr. Villar began his lecture before I had a chance to respond. After class I put my things away slowly in hopes of catching Logan alone. I waved for Tristan to go on without me.

  Logan noticed me hovering and stood up. We were no more than a hand’s breadth apart. Up close, he seemed even taller and more intimidating. “Yes?” he asked.

  “What did you mean, I should figure out what I believe?”

  “Did I say that?” He shrugged. “I just meant that you should decide what you believe in. Nothing more.”

  “I used to know,” I admitted.

  “What happened?”

  “My mother died,” I replied.

  He nodded as if he understood. “It happens to a lot of us.”

  “What do you believe, Logan?” I asked out of curiosity.

  “I believe if you don’t move, we will both be late for class,” he responded.

  I rolled my eyes at him again. “I’m trying to ask you a serious question.”

  “Sorry, that’s all the time we have. Now if you don’t mind…” He gestured for me to precede him out the door.

  What a pointless conversation. I grabbed my bag off my desk and left, not bothering to see if he followed or not.

  Chapter Four

  I could sense something behind me even before I turned. I whirled, not knowing what to expect. Fog swirled around me, and wind whipped my hair into my eyes, making them water. I squinted, trying to make out shapes in the dark. I felt a steaming breath on my neck and swung around again. A large figure loomed over me. I tried to make out its features, but everything seemed blurry, and I stepped back. I started to flee, but its hand shot out and seized my elbow before I could escape. Its free hand grasped my chin and tilted my face upward, forcing me to look in its eyes. It seemed almost familiar somehow. It…he smiled, offering me a hateful grin. My mouth opened, and I began to scream…

  My scream echoed against my bedroom walls as I shot up in bed. I shook my head, trying to clear it of the last vestiges of my nightmare. I flipped on my bedside light and looked around my room. Nothing seemed amiss. Still breathing heavily, I launched myself out of bed and checked my window. It remained locked. I peered out into the night, trying to figure out why it seemed so foreboding. I yanked my curtains closed and willed myself to calm down before I started hyperventilating.

  I was home alone. No one would come storming into my room to find out why I had been shrieking.

  I paced the worn hardwood floor in front of my bed, the tattered hems of my pale purple pajamas dragging. My cat, Nuada, stood up from where she had been sleeping next to me. She stretched, yawned, turned around a few times, and plopped back down to watch me. We had brought her with us from Las Vegas, leaving posters all over my old neighborhood with our phone number. After receiving no calls, Genevra and Shane agreed I could keep her. They’d even had our address engraved on her name tag. She had been my constant companion since, and at times it almost seemed as though we could understand each other.

  I flung myself onto my bed next to Nuada and glanced at my clock. Only ten twenty-four? Genevra and Shane would be home from their date night soon. Tanis had left for a friend’s house right after the movie ended and wouldn’t be home until the next morning.

  I stared at the clock some more and chewed my lip, debating on which of my new best friends to call. I briefly considered calling Tristan, but thought better of it. He wasn’t the comforting type of guy. He would just give me a lecture about how dreams weren’t true, and they couldn’t harm me.

  My decision made, I picked up my phone and flipped to my favorite numbers. I tapped the screen to call Cady. She picked up on the first rin
g. “Hi, Rae!” she chirped. “What’s up?” She always seemed cheery, no matter the time of day.

  “Hey, Cady,” I responded. “Not much. I just had the weirdest dream.” I didn’t bother asking if I had awakened her. She never went to bed before midnight and still always got up by seven to make it to school on time.

  “You were asleep already?”

  “Yeah, we got home over an hour ago,” I reminded her. We had caught an early movie because of my ten o’clock curfew.

  “Yeah, I know. So what was your dream about?”

  “It was seriously creepy,” I told her. “It was all dark and foggy, and there was this guy…”

  “Oooh! A guy?” she interrupted me. “Was he cute?” Cady was boy-crazy.

  “No, I already told you the dream was creepy. But since you mentioned it, I’m not sure what he looked like. I couldn’t make out his face.”

  “That is kind of creepy,” she agreed. “What do you think it meant?”

  “I’m not sure,” I admitted. “I’m almost afraid to try to figure it out.”

  “I wouldn’t worry about it.” She giggled, her laughter echoing through the phone. “Hey, you should call Logan! God knows he lives to over-analyze everything!”

  “Oh my gosh, why would I call Logan?” I asked. “I don’t even have his number, nor do I want it. Besides, I don’t think I’m up for an analysis right now.”

  “Maybe not, but at least you’d have his sexy voice to lull you back to sleep.” She giggled again.

  I rolled my eyes, thankful she couldn’t see me through the phone. She would be hurt. Maybe I made a mistake in calling Cady, I thought. “Logan is not sexy,” I informed her. “He’s annoying.”

  “Well, he may be annoying, but he is seriously good-looking! His eyes are sooo gorgeous. You’re so lucky to be able to sit next to him in all your classes.”

  “Most of my classes,” I absentmindedly corrected her.

  “Most of your classes,” she amended. “Seriously though, I’m a little jealous! What I wouldn’t give to be able to sit next to Logan Conner all day long. You don’t even realize how lucky you are.”

  “Uh-huh.” I had stopped paying attention to her Logan-obsessing. My thoughts had wandered back to my dream—I’d begun to feel more like it had been a nightmare.

  “Rae! Are you listening?” Cady’s voice cut into my meandering thoughts.

  I jumped guiltily. “Huh? Yeah, yeah of course I’m listening.”

  “What did I just say?”

  Crap. “Uh…something about Logan’s eyes?” I guessed.

  “Try again.” She didn’t sound like her perky self anymore.

  “His hair?” I asked.

  “Nuh-uh. Well, I should let you go ’til a third strike, but obviously you weren’t listening! I gotta go. I’ll see you at work tomorrow.”

  “Cady, wait! I was distracted by my dream! Cady?” My protests were cut off by a beep, then nothing. I glanced down at my phone, but she’d hung up. “That went well,” I muttered to myself. I would have to fix things with her in the morning at work. With a heavy sigh, I shut off my bedside lamp, rolled over and fell back asleep.

  Chapter Five

  I stood on the edge of the pier, gazing out at the flat, grey ocean. There were no waves, and the sea appeared like murky glass stretching as far as the horizon. In one hand, I held a plastic box containing my mother’s ashes. In the other I carried a bouquet of her favorite flowers—pink carnations.

  A breeze stirred my hair, carrying with it the scent of salt and fish. The fog hanging low on the water mirrored the fog clouding my mind. The nearby fishermen ignored me, too intent upon watching their lines.

  Adjusting to life in Capitola had been difficult. It was so dreary, so grey. I missed the sun of Las Vegas. I closed my eyes, trying to remember the feel of the sun beating down on my face. I tried to ignore the mist from the fog—or was it starting to rain?—and the cold wind, which made me shiver despite my thin jacket. Nothing had been right since I had left Vegas. Nothing had been right since my mother had died.

  I cut that thought off. It still hurt too much to think of her. I missed her, yet I blame her. If she hadn’t died, I wouldn’t be stuck here, in a place I didn’t like, with people I didn’t like.

  Opening the lid of the box, I upended it over the railing. I watched as the wind caught the ashes before they settled on the surface of the water. Then, one by one, I tossed the carnations into the surf. There they drifted, waiting for the current to pick up and wash them out to sea.

  “Raena?” A tentative call broke into my thoughts. Tanis, of course. I sighed and turned, leaning my back against the pier railing. I didn’t answer, just continued to stare over the steely waters, lost in my own world.

  She tried again. “Raena?” No matter how many times I asked to be called by my nickname, she just didn’t listen. “Mom asked me to come find you. I had to search all over town before I thought to look here. You must be freezing!”

  I just shook my head. Genevra may be mother to Tanis, but not to me. She had been with Genevra and Shane for a long time. They were the only parents she remembered. I had a mother—at least, I used to.

  She misunderstood the shake of my head. “Well, you may not be cold, but I am! Come on, I brought the car. Let’s hurry up. I don’t know how you walked all the way out here in this weather.” She headed back down the pier, beckoning me to follow her.

  I rolled my eyes at her behind her back. It wasn’t all that cold, and we weren’t that far from our house. Tanis had just turned seventeen, a year older than me, and sometimes Genevra and Shane allowed her to borrow their late-model Tahoe. They didn’t drive it since they had bought their new one, but it ran well.

  She had been with them so long that they trusted her to take the car around town. I wondered whether they would ever trust me that much. I had considered asking them if they would help me get my license, but dismissed the idea. Who knew how long I would be there?

  Besides, I didn’t want to become like Tanis if I got my license. Since she had begun driving, she refused to walk anywhere. I loved to walk when the weather permitted. But now that I thought about it, having my license might come in handy on rainy days when I needed to escape my new “family.”

  “Where’d you park the car?” I asked.

  Tanis gave me an annoyed look. “At the park, of course. It’s a weekend. You think I’m going to pay for parking?”

  I didn’t see why she’d bothered to bring the car at all, when we lived less than a mile from the Village. I wondered whether she would just let me walk all the way home by myself. Ordinarily, I wouldn’t mind being with her, but today I didn’t want company. That’s why I had been out on the pier. Even though the pier scared me a little, it was still the best place to be alone with my thoughts.

  It might seem silly to be scared of a pier, but the thing just seemed so rickety. The boards creaked ominously under my feet as I walked, and I thought they were placed too far apart. I was convinced that if there were a good strong earthquake, the whole structure would collapse, taking the fishermen and the restaurant with it. I had been assured many times of its soundness. Since I had no knowledge whatsoever of construction, I had to believe it.

  Still, the end of the pier had been choice real estate when I wanted to be alone. Now that Tanis had found my hiding spot, I might have to find another.

  I slowed as we walked towards the Village. I glanced up the stairs leading to the coffee shop longingly, mentally calculating how much money I had in my wallet. Should I ask her if we could stop?

  I decided it wouldn’t be a good idea. No reason to give her yet another place to find me. She wouldn’t approve of it anyway. Just the fact that it sat above a restaurant with a bar would make it “unseemly” in her book.

  I, on the other hand, spent many afternoons there, reading and begging them to let me play the neglected stand-up piano. I hadn’t had a chance to play since my mom had died. Most of the things from our house had been
put into storage. I had asked Genevra and Shane if I could have my piano shipped from the storage facility in Las Vegas to their house, but they had refused. It wouldn’t fit in their already crowded house.

  I started walking faster, wanting to be rid of Tanis. I glanced at the people on the beach, wondering why they would be out there this early in the year. Sure, it would be May soon, but it was so grey and cold. I knew there would eventually be some sun, but not for another couple of weeks. Weather seemed to mean nothing to these people.

  We marched up the hill from the Village, Tanis pausing at the railroad tracks, although I had never seen a train go through there. We dashed across the busy street to the small park, which was empty as usual, reaching the car at last.

  I tried to ignore her all the way home. Unfortunately, she decided to start talking the moment we got in the car, rambling about how she wanted me to go shopping with her. I used to love to shop with my mother and as a result, I already had a ton of clothes, shoes, accessories. You name it, I had it. I loved retail therapy, but I just didn’t feel up to it today.

  I begged off the shopping trip, claiming I had a paper to work on, which I didn’t, and that I had to work later, which I did. I had gotten a part-time job at a bakery. They made incredible pastries and did good business most of the time, which served to take my mind off things. People often came over the hill from San Jose just for a pastry or cookie. I kept enough to fund my coffee habit and deposited the rest into savings.

  I didn’t need any more money for college, but I figured I should save for something. My mother had started a college fund for me when I’d been born and had made deposits religiously, so tuition would be covered. I also had my mom’s life insurance money, which I would receive after my eighteenth birthday. Money came out of the account every month and went to Genevra and Shane for my care. My mother had been extremely organized, for which I was thankful.

  Startled from my reverie, I realized we were already pulling into the driveway. I mumbled a word of thanks to Tanis and fled upstairs. I ignored Genevra in the hallway as she asked where I had been—Tanis would fill her in. Stepping into my room, I closed the door, being careful to not slam it behind me.